I've loved musical theatre for as long as I can remember, primarily at first because it was my favourite category in the local Eisteddfod. If singing were a type of football, the musical theatre section was like the state of origin - if you won that, you won respect. It was the total package, costumes, props and on occasion elaborate sets, choreography and months of rehearsal. I was involved in the local choral society, and our conductor had a train carriage (I'm not kidding, an actual train carriage) FILLED to the brim with costumes and props that she had accumulated over the years and this became my source for all things theatre. Every year song choice was absolutely key, and if you had the right combination of personality, voice, choreography, entertainment and precision you could pull some major points. The musical theatre section was almost always at night, and if you won that you had a pretty good shot of being chosen to sing in the winners concert at the end of the competition.
Eisteddfod was both a massively positive part of my life and was also a bit of a handicap. You see, I lived in a small town, where there was rarely any unknown entities in the program. I could look down the list of names on any given year and know who my competition was. This is great for winning in the moment but terrible for learning how to cope in the real world, because more often than not we dont know who our competition is. We don't know what the outcome is going to be and because of that we don't know what the rules are or what the criteria for success is based upon the competition.
The long and the short of it - I was a big fish in a very small pond.
This meant that while I was in my small town living my small town life I enjoyed a fair bit of success. Eisteddfods were my favourite time of the year, every year. I wasn't athletic, I wasn't academic, but two weeks of the year I ruled the school!
Then I went to uni.
Uni was heaps fun, but to be honest, it was also a bit of a shock. Suddenly I wasn't the best, I wasn't even that good. I was below average, I had no classical training and I was consistently cast in the chorus, without fail, every single show. I also had my first bout of depression, so I dropped out and went on a 7 year long sabbatical from music in general other than singing karaoke with mates or doing the odd wedding or funeral.
My husband, God Bless his cotton socks, would swear on a stack of bibles that I'm the best thing to happen to singing since Dame Joan Sutherland - and he's a little biased!! But I do know that I have flaws. I grew up singing to slim dusty and abba, so I'm not at all classically trained. My breathing is all over the place, I can be quite nasal at times, my voice is high but can be very squeaky....and the worst infraction.....
Hand on my heart, I confess....I'm a belter. It's the worst thing you can say of a classically trained singer. It's shameful, but it's the truth. And to be honest, I make no apologies!! Despite this being a major faux pa in the singing world, I'm proud to be a belter!! (I should make that into a t shirt!!)
So, given all of this I was grateful to be cast as part of the local production of Phantom of the Opera. I've loved POTO since I first saw it at age 13 and it seriously changed my life. From that moment on I LIVED to become Sarah Brightman. I'd strut around my grandmother's living room memorising every move to every song and STRAINING to reach the top notes in songs such as the title song, Wishing you were Somehow Here Again and Pie Jesu. I knew that my life would be in the theatre and I was determined to be a big star.
Now I'm in a production of POTO, and I was cast as ensemble and I'm starting to believe that this is by far the best place for me. I'm learning some very valuable lessons in participation, humility and in being a part of something not because I'm in a title role but just because I love it and I want it to be successful. For the first two rehearsals no one even talked to me - like not at all. But I'm still there because I love the show, and because I want to be a part of it. If I didn't I would have quit already, high school cliques are not something I'm interested in. It's given me a new appreciation for those who've never been centre stage, those who are always part of the chorus, who just front up every time and do the hard work without the glory or the accolades that comes with being "up front". It's taught me that my worth is not tied up in how successful a singer I am - a lesson I didn't learn as a child.
I hope this post doesn't make me sound like some prima donna (pardon the pun!) - I don't think I have a big head about my singing, although I do think as a child I was pumped up to believe I was something extraordinary. It's kind of nice to get to my age and realise that I'm not so extraordinary - I like being a part of the crowd :) :) One day I hope I can be part of a show where I get a big part again, but for now I'm going to "wave my rose" from the back and enjoy the ride! :)
Til next time!
