Granted, I'm probably a bit biased - there's no denying I'm a "big girl", a "beefy gal", I got "Junk in da trunk", "husky", "chubby", "baby got back", "I got a big butt and I cannot lie", I'm "plus size", " built for comfort not for speed", I got "plenty to hold on to", "I'm the michelin woman" "plushy", "fluffy", "big boned", morbidly obese, overweight - aka, I'm fat.
I know this. I don't need reminding, there's plenty of people in this world who like to remind me daily. This entire universe reminds me every time I look in the mirror. It's not something I like, it's not something I'm proud of, it's not something I flaunt, but its the truth. I, like so many others, just want to be treated like everyone else, but we're not and thats the truth. We're ignored by shop assistants, stared at in restaurants, scruitinised for what we wear, what we eat, how we walk, talk, what we do, what we dont do - and God help us if we need to go to a doctor because according to the doctor every single thing that ails us is inevitably linked to our weight. Forget kids, we're too fat to have them and instead we have to sit by while all our friends are having children. We're the people that you groan about if you have to sit next to us on a plane, train, in a car, or practically anywhere confined. We're the people you whisper about"ooh she should NOT be wearing that". We're the people you figure are weak willed, lazy, slow, stupid and constantly eating oversized greasy meals every day of the week. We dont deserve to breathe, or have fashionable clothing, we are criticised for not exercising yet stared at and laughed at when we go to the gym, we're avoided like being fat is somehow contagious - believe me, I get it - we ALL get it.
So what has made me so mad? Not only do we all have to put up with the above.....now there's TV shows that advocate demeaning, screaming at, abusing and down right BULLYING overweight people for ratings. AND PEOPLE WATCH THIS!!!! I won't mention the programs name, you know who you are. I just watched an ad with a trainer SCREAMING at some bloke saying "YOU'RE 150 KILOS DO YOU UNDERSTAND!!!!" No mate. the guy is completely deaf and illiterate and has no numeracy skills whatsoever......*sarcastic smile* I found myself yelling back at the tv "yeah and you're a BULLY DO YOU UNDERSTAND!!!!"
Does it make you feel like a big man screaming and taunting some guy sweating his guts out on a treadmill thats been struggling with his weight?? Does it make you feel powerful? Does it make you feel like your life somehow has meaning because you can abuse people into doing what you want them to do?? I'm sorry if you do feel that way cos believe me, "tough love" is not quite as loving as this world would lead you to believe - it's abuse. Pure and simple.
How do I know this? Because I've had it done to me, over and over and over again. Did it help? Not even one bit. I'm over 50kgs heavier because of the constant abuse, it didn't help me lose weight - it only made me want to exercise and be fit LESS so I could prove the bullies in my life wrong. I wanted to make it clear that I COULD have a productive life and be overweight. I didn't want to lose the weight to please them - I wanted to pack it on to spite the lot of them.
I'm not against being healthy. Quite the opposite. I think eating healthy and exercising is great, and I'm trying to do it more myself. I'm taking positive steps to address my weight issues, and I'm proud of myself for doing it. But you can GUARANTEE that the strength i will need to do so will NOT be coming from some !@# hole screaming at me and making me feel awful about myself.
I'm worthy of living in this world whether I lose the weight or not. Period.
Til next time!
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