Walking out of the performing arts centre, an elderly lady complimented me on my singing, and said "you'll go far my dear" - funny, people always say that. It got me thinking about the trajectory of my life. When I was younger, in primary school and early high school people would say that to me all the time. Have you ever noticed how every young person who shows genuine talent for singing, or playing music, or acting, or art, or basically anything is automatically according to those around them destined for great things - broadway, west end, the big leagues, the silver screen etc.....?
Well, I'm now 32 years old, and despite the myriad of compliments I received about being bound for greatness I am now no closer to broadway or west end than I was at the tender age of 16. Now don't get me wrong, I wouldn't change a thing about my life. Things have happened precisely as they should have, and if I had it all to do again I wouldn't change a thing. But it did get me wondering where all those hopes and aspirations that others placed upon my young head will go now that my young head is no longer young? Does the fact that I chose a life, a husband, a house and a simple existence mean that somewhere out there there is a part in some musical gone begging that would have been perfect for me? Have I somehow missed some grand moment of realised potential, some multi million dollar recording contract, some divergent path that I should have taken and never did? And at the end of my life will those around me bemoan the untapped potential of my voice, or celebrate the local concerts I entertained others with?
There's something quiet and unspoken about the ordinary life. When you're "one of the crowd" especially someone without children, no one really celebrates any of your life decisions (other than marriage if you're lucky like me!). There's no album launches, no opening nights, no wrap parties or award nights.
I think a lot about my friend Joseph, who by ANYONE'S standards had one of the most extraordinary male voices I have ever come across both amateur or professional - and who sadly committed suicide a couple of years ago. A great voice silenced without the world knowing its worth, and for what? Now all there is left is speculation of where he MIGHT have gone had he lived. There's nothing else.
Maybe the point of having a gift, any gift, is not that you reach the highest eschalons of that field, but rather that you keep on doing it no matter what and share it with as many people as you possibly can for as long as you can. I'm sure my friend Joseph would have loved to sing one more mass, one more wedding, and not because of the money (when there was money) or for some kind of fame but rather because that's what he loved to do. That's what he was MADE to do. I get it, because that's what I was made to do too. I might win the championship, I might not, in a month's time it won't really matter - at the hour of my death it certainly wont matter. What will matter is the joy I can bring to people by taking any opportunity I can to use my gift. That's why I was given it in the first place.
Until next time,
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