The Ordinary Life....

Today we had our first Choral Society concert of 2015, and as the scholarship winner I got to sing my first ever solo in concert :) My debut went off pretty well, not without its issues (my low notes cracked in places which made me wince!) but in general, the reception and support I recieved was really nice :) I now have two weeks to get my act together before the Eisteddfod, my ultimate opportunity to make a splash, maybe win a category or two, and then compete in the open championships for a trophy and 500 smackeroonies which might I say would come in handy for some jobs around the house!

Walking out of the performing arts centre, an elderly lady complimented me on my singing, and said "you'll go far my dear" - funny, people always say that. It got me thinking about the trajectory of my life. When I was younger, in primary school and early high school people would say that to me all the time. Have you ever noticed how every young person who shows genuine talent for singing, or playing music, or acting, or art, or basically anything is automatically according to those around them destined for great things - broadway, west end, the big leagues, the silver screen etc.....?

Well, I'm now 32 years old, and despite the myriad of compliments I received about being bound for greatness I am now no closer to broadway or west end than I was at the tender age of 16. Now don't get me wrong, I wouldn't change a thing about my life. Things have happened precisely as they should have, and if I had it all to do again I wouldn't change a thing. But it did get me wondering where all those hopes and aspirations that others placed upon my young head will go now that my young head is no longer young? Does the fact that I chose a life, a husband, a house and a simple existence mean that somewhere out there there is a part in some musical gone begging that would have been perfect for me? Have I somehow missed some grand moment of realised potential, some multi million dollar recording contract, some divergent path that I should have taken and never did? And at the end of my life will those around me bemoan the untapped potential of my voice, or celebrate the local concerts I entertained others with?

There's something quiet and unspoken about the ordinary life. When you're "one of the crowd" especially someone without children, no one really celebrates any of your life decisions (other than marriage if you're lucky like me!). There's no album launches, no opening nights, no wrap parties or award nights.

I think a lot about my friend Joseph, who by ANYONE'S standards had one of the most extraordinary male voices I have ever come across both amateur or professional - and who sadly committed suicide a couple of years ago. A great voice silenced without the world knowing its worth, and for what? Now all there is left is speculation of where he MIGHT have gone had he lived. There's nothing else.

Maybe the point of having a gift, any gift, is not that you reach the highest eschalons of that field, but rather that you keep on doing it no matter what and share it with as many people as you possibly can for as long as you can. I'm sure my friend Joseph would have loved to sing one more mass, one more wedding, and not because of the money (when there was money) or for some kind of fame but rather because that's what he loved to do. That's what he was MADE to do. I get it, because that's what I was made to do too. I might win the championship, I might not, in a month's time it won't really matter - at the hour of my death it certainly wont matter. What will matter is the joy I can bring to people by taking any opportunity I can to use my gift. That's why I was given it in the first place.

Until next time,

*Rant Alert* Think Before You Speak...

As you guys would know, there are quite a few things in this world that make my blood boil. Injustice is one of the biggies - it makes me FURIOUS. But there's fast approaching something else that also REALLY gets my goat.

It goes by a few different phrases, but the message is the same.

"Suck it up Princess"
"Take a teaspoon of cement and harden up"
"Build a bridge and get over it"

Ever been told that? I have. Recently in fact. Very recently. And let me tell you, not only does it NOT help, it's actually really hurtful. Let me tell you why.

Perception is reality. Unfortunately this is just the way it is. What is happening both internally and externally for someone is what is happening. YOUR perspective, while it may be valuable to you, means nothing to them in that moment because their perception is THEIR reality. I someone is sitting across from you in tears, even if its over something that you think is trivial and not worth getting upset over, for them it IS worth getting upset over. If it wasn't, they wouldn't be upset. In that moment, that person is in distress. What they need, more than anything, is validation and compassion.

Compassion is a really interesting word. I started looking up bible verses on compassion and I noticed something - often times, when Jesus is faced with people either individually or in a crowd, the bible uses the same phrase  - "and he had compassion on them". Jesus didn't tell them to "suck it up" and heaven knows he could have. After all, Jesus could see where humanity was headed, Jesus could see into the corruption of people's hearts - if there was ANYONE who could have told them to "suck it up" and been qualified to do so, it was Him!! Jesus did get exasperated at times with people as a whole, He did grow tired of the constant pressure upon him to help others, but He never once told people to "suck it up" or "get over it" because Jesus had compassion for what was happening for that person in that moment. 

What is it about telling people to "suck it up" that is so appealing??? Why do we feel we need to adopt an air of superiority and kick someone when they're down?? When did we lose our ability to empathise with others? To an extent, in the work I do at the moment, I can understand that empathy does wane at times - if we empathised with every single person we come in contact with in my job we'd seriously go insane. There's too much suffering, too much pain, too much corruption and its hard not to become overwhelmed! But I would challenge you reading this, or anyone, that perhaps its time we employ a little bit of compassion for those in distress. In that moment, whether you agree with what they're saying or not, they just need someone to look at them in the face and say "it's ok to feel the way you do". Just that validation can start the process of healing. 

It's time to resurrect a little sensitivity to the human condition - we all bleed the same colour after all! It doesn't matter how superior you feel to someone else, it doesn't matter how little you value their situation or how little you identify with their pain, it's THEIR pain not yours. You do not have the right to dismiss someone else's feelings. You do not have the right to grind them into the dirt in that moment. There are other, more constructive ways to help someone see the positives of their situation but first, just employ a little kindness and BE with them in that moment. The truth is, you don't know what else is going on in that person's life. You could be the one person who stands WITH that person in their distress rather than standing over them. The time for bullying people into "pulling themselves up by their bootstraps" is over. There's just too much hardness in this world without needing to add to it. 

And the next time someone tells me to "suck it up princess" - I'll be saying so. It's time to stand up to this attitude and if it has to start with me, then so be it. 

Until next time,