Friday, 27 February 2015

Me 2.0

I had the most beautiful day today! I slept in til when I naturally woke up, I basically fluffed around this morning then got dressed and was picked up for lunch with a most beautiful friend :) :) we had a lovely day, shopping, and eating, and drinking coffee, and catching up on all the goss :)

One thing that happened to me today really struck me - as we were talking, my mobile phone rang. I looked down, took note of who it was, and something changed in me....I realised that I was having too much fun to interrupt it by answering the phone. So I didn't. And it turns out it was just as well I didn't. It felt good to take control over my time, and invest in people worth investing in.

Later today I also had the opportunity to put in some boundaries around my personal life vs my working life. And it felt really really really good :) :)

Then I was given a lovely compliment about work, and I felt even better...

Today I just felt really proud of who I am. I really like who I am when I am around the friend I spent time with today :) It's like I'm funny, and relaxed, and comfortable, and more MYSELF than I am around other people I know. I can be totally honest and confident that she's not going to take stuff the wrong way. I don't second guess myself when we're hanging out. I want more of THOSE kinds of friends - though I know they're rare! I think I can count the friends that truly make me feel like that on one hand!

Plus I feel proud of how far I've come. I have my ups and downs, and lately I've had more downs than ups, and I've lost a few people on the way which has blindsided me at times - but through it all I've learnt how to recognize good relationships from the not so good relationships, and I've realised that instead of opening myself up to everyone I come across, I can be selective with who I spend my time on, and how. I can say no and be ok. I can put boundaries in place and be ok - and if people don't like that, then they're not worth me knowing anyways.

I've learnt to really LISTEN to myself and to others. I've all of a sudden realised that people I thought were friends are really more interested in themselves than in anyone else. I've noticed that the equal give and take is just not there with some people. It's like, as soon as they've run out of things to say about themselves all of a sudden they gotta go.....yeah....right!

I've dissected my recently failed friendships and I've come to realise that at some point along the way I've seen red flags and felt a "kick" in my gut that should have told me that things were not right. I haven't listened to that, and as a result I've had my heart ripped out a couple of times. I could have saved myself a fair bit of heartache if I had listened to myself, so I'm committed to not having that happen to me again.

I haven't finished this journey yet, I've still got a LONG way to go, and I certainly haven't learnt how to really keep my emotions in check....but I do feel like I've grown a bit lately. I feel good knowing that I'm good at my job and I'm starting to rebuild myself into a more confident, healthier and more mentally harmonious person :)


Until next time!!


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