What I meant to say......

Ok, so here's what I'd love my blog to read like tonight....

OMG I've had the BEST week so far - yes I have a sinus infection, but that has meant I got a Dr's certificate for the whole week off, and as a result I've been able to achieve SOOO much! My house is spotless, I've made significant headway on my office redo, my washing is clean and I feel so fulfilled! LOVING having this time off!

*sigh*

Sadly, I'd be lying! This sinus infection has floored me, I've been going through a weird cycle - wake up for a few hours, take tablets, go to sleep, wake up for a few hours, take tablets, go to sleep....and so on it goes! I keep getting really sharp horrible pains in the front of my face, and my nose is training for the next olympics, and to top it off I feel really out of it half the time. Poor Brad is quite concerned, he's been suitably fussing over me and nearly stayed home from work tonight to "take care of me" which in reality I think would have consisted of me sleeping and him playing computer games....not because he wouldn't look after me but because sleeping is all I have been doing! My animals have been a comfort, Gizmo is not happy unless he's snoozing right beside me, which he's doing right now, and Max will generally be in the same room also. I'm a bit lonely though, I hate being cooped up at home with no human interaction!! I am praying that tomorrow I'll start to improve and start being able to be more active at home. It's hard to feel like doing much when ur head feels like its about to roll off your shoulders!!!

Until....*cough cough sniffle* next time,

Dreaming of a White and Purple Office....

Well, today I woke up with a roaring head cold which I'm sad to say has not in the least bit improved as the day has progressed, so no work for me today, and possibly tomorrow too. To amuse myself I have begun my planning of a fairly significant project I've set for myself.

You see, as much as I love my office, I got very upset the other night because I am not 100% happy with it. I feel like it's a mish mash of different bits and pieces of furniture that aren't at all themed or related. I don't feel good in that room anymore. So, it's time for a change :) And to begin this monumental change, I had to decide on a colour scheme. So I decided on a clean crisp white with purple for a bit of a hint of colour :) Then I began looking for pieces that would fit in with my new colour scheme, and immediately started work on a purple and white pom pom rug :) The rug hasnt really begun other than I've purchased the tapestry backing that will form the base of the rug, and I've made a few pom poms, and I'm now sewing a trim on the edges of the base. I'm not even sure it will work, I will have spent a small fortune making the thing AND I'll probably be making pom pom's til I'm 90 to get it done, but I figure since I will be off work for several weeks thanks to my ankle I'll have plenty of time to pom pom away!!!!!

So, on to the rest of the room - I'm imagining floating shelves, a built in wardrobe that is filled with stationary and scrapbooking in perfect purple and white boxes, a sleek white desk with nothing on it other than my laptop, a pretty pencil cup with purple pens and pencils, and a small crystal vase with purple fake flowers :) Then I'm seeing my armchair, decked out in a white cover with purple cushions and a standing lamp looking on. In front of the armchair I see a small white footstool and in the middle of the room a white coffee table with my bible on it and a scented candle. On the wall several pictures and a home made purple and white pin board.

The thought is beautiful - and I've already found some of the items I will need.

So here's my desk :) Isn't it beautiful :)

And a couple of inspirational pictures I found.....

Now, I admit I am in no way schooled up in the art of home renovations, and this whole thing may take an awfully long time for me to afford, but I already feel good about it. It's my little project, and while my head cold, aching sinuses, crackling ears and runny nose continues to make me feel little more than wretched, I am excited about the idea of shaping a room exactly the way I want to. Oh and did I mention I'm going to paint my narrow bookcase white too? So much to do!!!! 

Until next time....

The Big BBQ Bash!

At the beginning of this year, I knew that our 10 year anniversary was coming up, and we had to plan something special. At the time I didn't think we'd be able to afford anything much, but I desperately wanted to mark the occasion somehow - after all it is 10 years! So, I considered having some fancy 'do' out somewhere, which would have cost a fair bit, or perhaps us just going away together for the weekend somewhere nice, or doing nothing even, but nothing really seemed to "fit".

I was driving to work one day when I realised the one thing I hadn't considered was the one thing I really wanted. All I wanted for our anniversary really, was to be with friends and family in my own backyard enjoying food and eachother. That was it. I told Brad about this idea with a little trepidation as my husband is, lets just say, less than a social person - in fact, generally he's a complete recluse! I didn't think the reaction would be favourable, so I prepared myself for a lot of huffing and puffing and "do I have to be there"'s and such. I told him, and held my breath......

Needless to say when he jumped at the idea I was slightly shocked! A good shocked, but shocked all the same - who was he and what had he done with my husband???? LOL So we began planning with gusto, and the first thing to organise was the BBQ since we kind of didnt own one and my suggestion of borrowing one was met with derision. "Why borrow one when we can just buy one" says my dear husband. I pointed out that our dream BBQ was no featherweight - it was, like 800 bucks! But husband insisted, so we went ahead and bought the sucker. It's huge, but boy it does a pork roast like nothing else!!!

So once we had the BBQ sorted, I enlisted the help of a beautiful friend (check out ROAR photography on facebook, she's amazing!) who did a photo shoot for us last weekend - the photos were incredible, and I'm so happy with them we're going to get one blown up into a nice frame to commemorate the occasion :)

So where am I going with this? Well today was the big day - I got up at 8am and was a mad thing food prepping all morning - I think I sat down briefly at about 11:45 and then it was on! :) So, not as many people as I would have liked came, and those who couldn't make it were very missed, but boy did we have a good time!! Even the rain held off despite some pretty ominous clouds passing over us. At one point I'd walked back into the house to grab something and I looked out the window and realised that what I had suggested to Brad months ago we had made happen and I felt so incredibly blessed. It's not often that you can honestly say you get exactly what you wanted, but on this occasion it totally happened for me. The food was great, Brad was "master of the grill" like I'd predicted, we laughed and had a few drinks and just enjoyed ourselves :) Pa told his stories over and over and showed off pictures of his invention (eye roll pleaaaasseee!) :) Said with love of course! Brad hung out with his work mates and talked computer games for hours, and I got to feed people which lets face it is one of my favouritest things in the world :) The best part was when Carrie said my cob loaf and pav were awesome!!! High praise!!!!!


 I had planned things pretty strategically so there wasn't a whole lot of washing up or anything, so it didn't take us long to pack things up. Brad and Pa settled in to watch the footy, and I began to fall asleep on the couch so I got sent to bed, and before long Brad had come to bed along with the cat AND the dog and then Pa went to bed too! The whole household was out to it til about 7:30!!! We were exhausted, but it was such a happy exhausted!!! :)

So tomorrow it's back to reality. and on to life "post BBQ" - It has only just occurred to me just how much my thought life was taken up with the event but it was so worth it :) If wealth is measured in love, then I am the richest girl alive!!

Until next time!

OCD or Control Freak?

The last few days I've noticed something, and it doesn't bother me so much as puzzle me. So sit down, strap in and hang on you're in for a bumpy ride through the realm otherwise known as my special brand of neurosis!

I discovered that it's very possible that I just might be teensie little bit, just a smidge, itty bitty speck on the back of a gnat.....controlling.

Yes, I know, you're shocked. Stunned. Your mind is officially blown. You can't think straight at the suggestion of this completely world view changing revelation.

Ok, I know you're not shocked, or stunned, in fact if you know me at all you'll probably think "yeah...and??? tell me something I don't know!" Unfortunately, this was not my reaction! I was actually quite blown away by this.

I've found it difficult to shake the party line I was fed as a kid, that I was lazy and slothish and that I never did anything properly or well. I always just assumed I'd be the kind of person who would do just enough to get by, and despite me being an adult and completely autonomous in shaping the person I am to become in my life I've never been able to see myself in any other way. Yet, I've noticed over the last few days that I'm actually extremely hyper sensitive to my surroundings - they literally change the way I am able to process information and function in my life.

Here's an example, the other day I took two hours of my working day to de-clutter and sort through my workspace. I got rid of stuff, changed around stuff, completely cleared off my desk and was able to streamline my space. I paid attention to how I felt as I made decisions about where things were going to go, and about how I was going to use items I was hanging on to and why. It was, and I'm not being dramatic, a RELIGIOUS experience for me. The process of going through those things was almost more euphoric as how I felt when I'd finished - I went home SINGING and feeling like a million dollars. That got me thinking - I get a mental and physical pay off from de cluttering the space - what IS it about that act that gets me so excited?

Now, I'm not saying I'm OCD to the point where I wash my hands over and over, or dont believe that light switches are turned off - but I am OBSESSED with organisation and changing things around. It's almost like a relief, when I find a project or something to work on I feel like I can breathe again. When I don't have anything like that I get really cranky and upset and grumpy. I NEED to feel like I'm in control of my surroundings, and if I feel like the housework is getting away from me, I will stay up late, put everything else aside, and CLEAN like I'm scratching a damn itch. I can't stop until it's done, no matter what happens.

This is a new aspect of me that I've only just discovered. I'm not sure whether i like it or not, because I hate being dependent upon anything for my own happiness, but at the same time I obviously get something out of it or I wouldn't be doing it. And to be honest, I dont think I want to get rid of it. I like being tidy, I like putting things right in my world, and i especially love the clarity it brings my mind when I'm able to feel in control of my world. The only problem is, life by its very definition is messy. It's chaotic, its disordered, and it's completely out of my control no matter how much I THINK I'm somehow holding the keys to my own life. Have I just traded my stress over feeling like I need to "accomplish" stuff to a need to have everything in order, or is it really all the same thing? I don't feel like I have a massive issue with spare time anymore, but this whole obsession over cleaning, rearranging and de-cluttering might just be a substitute. And the million dollar question is, will I ever find a place of peace where I don't need to obsess over either in order to be happy?

Until next time.....