Hello beautiful people! Guess who's home!!!! Huzzah!!!! Yup that's right, I'm backkkk :) I am just grateful to be alive and home and relatively pain free (thanks to drugs!) my leg is sore, but I'm able to sleep and go in and out which is good :) plus I am now in my comfy bed among my family rather than being in a hospital with strangers! So life has become very very good!
The good news is I've been cleared to put weight on my heel, making getting around a LOT more easy. Plus it means I am not restricted to just the bedroom after all, making quality of life a LOT more pleasant for me :)
So, the whole experience....well I ended up having to wait ages before going in for surgery, but I did everything I possibly could to keep calm. They got a canula in my arm straight away, which alleviated a little bit of tension They did a nerve block, so for the first 18 hours my leg was completely numb I couldn't feel anything. Once the block wore off it got painful! I've been so blessed with several visitors in hospital, Ros and Cheryl and Andree and Robyn all paying me a visit, and tonnes of flex messages flying around :) Everyone's been so kind and loving, I really felt like everyone was looking out for me and wishing me the best which was super sweet :) Gizmo and Max are happy to have me home, although Gizmo is very unhappy that he is not allowed in the bedroom as Brad's afraid he'll jump up on me so there's a gate Brad's constructed and poor Gizmo can see me but he can't come in. It's driving him a little bit insane LOL
The hospital was very good, the staff were mainly very nice except for the last nurse I had who wasn't very nice. Everyone else was amazing, the nurses were very kind and the food was great! I am shocked at how I've been able to bounce back and I'm feeling pretty good, I get drowsy every once in a while and the medication is keeping the pain at bay which is a relief. This whole thing is not going to be quite as bad as I originally thought and I feel like a massive weight is off my shoulders.
For anyone who thought I was being melodramatic about the whole needle thing, here is the results of the anethitists efforts AFTER I fell asleep to get another line into me......
Yup, I'm officially black and blue on both arms!! he was able to get another line in on my wrist, and that was it, he couldn't even get blood out of me!
Well, now that I'm home, I'm going to put my head back and see if I can get a bit of shut eye, I'm a bit tired. To sign off, here's my all time favourite view at the moment.......my own back yard :) :)
So, tonight is my last night of freedom before my surgery. I am trying not to think too much at this point. My ankle is aching, an ever present reminder of why this surgery is necessary - helpful because I was beginning to wonder! LOL
I've begun downing water like it's going out of fashion, I've tossed a few sets of jammies on my bed to pack, kitchen is kind of clean, dinner is all done, and I think we're nearly at the point where we can't really prep much more. The only jobs I have left to do is finish packing, gather together a few art supplies to put beside the bed in case I get the urge, and gather up some blu rays to put in the bedroom. That's about it really. I'm watching a pretty awesome movie at the moment, so as soon as it goes to an add I'll move into the bedroom and finish packing.
So, I'm talking about the mundane because I'm avoiding talking about the actual event. The truth is, I'm scared. I'm scared about the needle, I'm scared about the anaesthetic, I'm scared about the waking up, the pain, the logistics of how I'm going to shower, go to the bathroom, and then how I'm going to get home, deal with the pain, and generally live for the next three months of my life. I can't really dress that up any other way. In my mind I know that I'll get through it, because I always do....it's just the unknown I can't stand.
My beautiful new friend Lisa gave me a "Post Op Survival kit" consisting of a chick flick, a funny book and chocolate :) :) I love that girl! And my workmates decided to attack me with ink stamps, forcing me to go to Big W with my arms covered in "data entered" or "postage paid" or "true and certified copy" LOL I guess they just wanted to brand me before I left!!!! It made my last day at work a real treat.
So, my life is about to dramatically change for a while. I'm going to have to rely on Brad and others more than I ever have before. Perhaps that's what scares me most.
I wont be blogging for a little bit as a result, so I guess it really is "until next time",
Ok, so before I get into today's post, I want to take a minute, pause reverently, and share......my food porn of the week.......
Ta Daaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!
It's my Broccoli Chicken with Singapore Noodles......mmmmmmmmm...........
Now you would think something like "broccoli chicken" would be pretty simple....broccoli.....chicken.....how hard can it be???
Well, let me answer that for you.....an hour later, with a kitchen that looks like a BOMB hit it, I've velveted, marinated, sauteed, fried, stir fried, nuked, swished, swirled and chopped my way to a meal that is REALLLLLLY nice, but pretty high maintenance!!! I think it's more of a weekend meal.....but Oh soooo delish :) :) And the best part is the leftovers for tomorrow's lunch!!!
So, on to day three of my life "post the book" and I am actually quite surprised at how much I'm not really missing it. Apart from the "what do I do first thing in the morning" post facebook hang over the rest of my existence is going pretty good. And pretty soon, I'll be too drugged to care!!!! In other news, today I picked up all my gear ready for the post surgery struggles...shower chair, check, toilet chair....sadly check......little old lady walkers x 2....check (I dont know why I needed two but apparently I did!) and I'm also asking for reimbursement to hire a knee scooter because the whole crutches thing isn't working out as good as I had hoped. They bloody hurt!!!! I want to have all my bases covered so that when the time comes, I've got plenty of options and I can choose whichever one is going to work out the best. I feel like I'm preparing to be a geriatric!
Well that's about it really.....but before I go.....I can't help it.....just one more.......
I am imaging my readership has gone down somewhat of recent - yesterday morning I dropped the bombshell - I gave up facebook. No warning, no fasting just *blip* gone. Its now been over 24 hours since I made announcement and so far I am LOVING life post the big FB.
So, what prompted the change? I had a couple of people quite concerned because I fear the message I sent was a little maudlin in nature, but I'm seriously ok, I promise! I had many many reasons that I've pondered over a REALLY long period of time to get to the point where I made the call yesterday and here's just a few.
1. Time
Ok this one is kind of obvious - I spent WAYYYYY too much time on facebook, I'd sit down just to "check my newsfeed" for two seconds and all of a sudden two hours had gone by! I'd even started checking it at work, which is really bad, so I knew it was time to admit I had a problem and give it the ol' heave ho! Time is precious, life is precious, and it's far too precious to be watching pixels on the screen no matter HOW social the media claims to be!
2. Drama
Another obvious one. In my line of work, facebook is a MASSIVE cause of drama, not just for me but for my clients, for the kids, for everyone. I'd even go snooping on people's pages whom I'd had conflict with a Looooonnngg time ago, and it would make me cranky, and make me relive all the old hurts and I'd start having awful arguments with that person in my head....(I'm not crazy I SWEEEARRRRR) and I just got the point where it was just causing me drama indirectly as well as directly. I have enough trouble dealing with the drama of just getting through every day life without adding to my struggles through sick thought patterns that keep me down in the dumps!!!! I CRAVE simplicity in my life, and I want to do whatever I can to get it. I'm trying to change my self talk, and if facebook is the biblical "eye" or "hand" that gets in the way of me doing that I say CUT IT OFF! :)
3. Lifestyle
This kind of goes along with time, but goes further. My lifestyle is very sedentary, and granted there are a LOT of reasons for that. Now, let me preface this by saying I realise this may be a bit of a moot point in the short term considering I am about to have major ankle surgery and be completely sedentary for at least 4-6 weeks, but I'm thinking bigger picture here......there's many reasons I dont do much, work and TV being the other two prime culprits. I can't help the work aspect of it, and hubbie LOVES watching telly and movies with me, so what's left I can get rid of....you guessed it.....
4. The Principle
No, I'm not referring to Mormons here! I'm talking more from a basically ethical point of view. It is my honest belief that, shock horror, not everyone wants or needs to know about my life. Especially people who can't be bothered making contact with me OUTSIDE of facebook. That might sound harsh, but I need to be a bit harsh when it comes to setting boundaries because in the past I've had NO boundaries. The truth is, as arrogant as it sounds, I know I'm a good friend, and I know how much I love and care for my friends. I put a LOT into my friendships and the people I give my friendships to have to be people who will be good friends to me to. As the saying goes, "If you are absent during my struggle, do not expect to be present during my success" ~Will Smith~
5. Quality Vs Quantity
So this leads me to my next motivation......my friends themselves. See, I had a bit of a revelation the other day. I was thinking about all the people who I have on my facebook who I did know at one point from different places, and I reflected on what friendships were like before Facebook. Before Facebook, when you moved away from somewhere, there's nearly always a few people who work hard to stay in touch, but over time the rest slip away.....and it was ok. There was no malice, no anger, no hurt, just people get busy and things naturally change. People grow apart and grow up. I honestly believe that while humans were made for relationships, we weren't made to keep in touch with everyone single person we've ever met. They dont need to know everything that is going on with me, and I don't need to know everything that is going on with them.
The quality of one's social life is not, contradictory to what we've been led to believe, a function of how many friends you have on facebook, or how many "likes" you get, or even how many comments you get to your latest status message or post. Of course, I never really believed that......
Or did I?
Shameful as it is to admit, even I have slipped into the cycle of believing that I'm popular based upon the activity on my newsfeed. The little thrill when you see that little box on the top header indicating you have a bunch of notifications, or even better, a message....the deliciousness of clicking that notification and opening up a post or picture I've put on there and seen that others have commented. Counting up the likes......
We've all done it, we've all at one stage or another fallen victim to the "facebook high". But is that how I want to see myself?
I realised that the time I'm investing in facebook I could be putting into face to face time with real friends. Friends I know now. Friends who are present in the moment. Instead of looking back at those I used to know, I chose to let go of those who dont keep in touch with me and instead focus on the ones who do. I want to invest my time, my energy and myself into those people and cultivate strong friendships rather than sit behind a computer screen broadcasting some watered down version of myself for people who dont invest the same amount of time and energy and self into me.
And finally, I gave up Facebook after watching this video.....
The conviction I felt was so strong it nearly burned a hole in my chest. I decided right then and there the minute I watched this that my days pouring over Facebook were over. I can't go back now. I feel like I've entered a new part of my life, and I want more out of it. I want to drink deep and soak up every last drop of this world....and I can't do it while I'm more focused on facebook than on real faces.
So I hope you will understand. I hope that my friends will follow me off the page and won't let me go into the abyss. I will do everything I can do keep in touch with as many people as I can. I hope you will indulge me this selfishness and humour my efforts to improve my relationships. But if you don't, that's ok. I promise.
Ok, so here's what I'd love my blog to read like tonight....
OMG I've had the BEST week so far - yes I have a sinus infection, but that has meant I got a Dr's certificate for the whole week off, and as a result I've been able to achieve SOOO much! My house is spotless, I've made significant headway on my office redo, my washing is clean and I feel so fulfilled! LOVING having this time off!
*sigh*
Sadly, I'd be lying! This sinus infection has floored me, I've been going through a weird cycle - wake up for a few hours, take tablets, go to sleep, wake up for a few hours, take tablets, go to sleep....and so on it goes! I keep getting really sharp horrible pains in the front of my face, and my nose is training for the next olympics, and to top it off I feel really out of it half the time. Poor Brad is quite concerned, he's been suitably fussing over me and nearly stayed home from work tonight to "take care of me" which in reality I think would have consisted of me sleeping and him playing computer games....not because he wouldn't look after me but because sleeping is all I have been doing! My animals have been a comfort, Gizmo is not happy unless he's snoozing right beside me, which he's doing right now, and Max will generally be in the same room also. I'm a bit lonely though, I hate being cooped up at home with no human interaction!! I am praying that tomorrow I'll start to improve and start being able to be more active at home. It's hard to feel like doing much when ur head feels like its about to roll off your shoulders!!!
Well, today I woke up with a roaring head cold which I'm sad to say has not in the least bit improved as the day has progressed, so no work for me today, and possibly tomorrow too. To amuse myself I have begun my planning of a fairly significant project I've set for myself.
You see, as much as I love my office, I got very upset the other night because I am not 100% happy with it. I feel like it's a mish mash of different bits and pieces of furniture that aren't at all themed or related. I don't feel good in that room anymore. So, it's time for a change :) And to begin this monumental change, I had to decide on a colour scheme. So I decided on a clean crisp white with purple for a bit of a hint of colour :) Then I began looking for pieces that would fit in with my new colour scheme, and immediately started work on a purple and white pom pom rug :) The rug hasnt really begun other than I've purchased the tapestry backing that will form the base of the rug, and I've made a few pom poms, and I'm now sewing a trim on the edges of the base. I'm not even sure it will work, I will have spent a small fortune making the thing AND I'll probably be making pom pom's til I'm 90 to get it done, but I figure since I will be off work for several weeks thanks to my ankle I'll have plenty of time to pom pom away!!!!!
So, on to the rest of the room - I'm imagining floating shelves, a built in wardrobe that is filled with stationary and scrapbooking in perfect purple and white boxes, a sleek white desk with nothing on it other than my laptop, a pretty pencil cup with purple pens and pencils, and a small crystal vase with purple fake flowers :) Then I'm seeing my armchair, decked out in a white cover with purple cushions and a standing lamp looking on. In front of the armchair I see a small white footstool and in the middle of the room a white coffee table with my bible on it and a scented candle. On the wall several pictures and a home made purple and white pin board.
The thought is beautiful - and I've already found some of the items I will need.
So here's my desk :) Isn't it beautiful :)
And a couple of inspirational pictures I found.....
Now, I admit I am in no way schooled up in the art of home renovations, and this whole thing may take an awfully long time for me to afford, but I already feel good about it. It's my little project, and while my head cold, aching sinuses, crackling ears and runny nose continues to make me feel little more than wretched, I am excited about the idea of shaping a room exactly the way I want to. Oh and did I mention I'm going to paint my narrow bookcase white too? So much to do!!!!
At the beginning of this year, I knew that our 10 year anniversary was coming up, and we had to plan something special. At the time I didn't think we'd be able to afford anything much, but I desperately wanted to mark the occasion somehow - after all it is 10 years! So, I considered having some fancy 'do' out somewhere, which would have cost a fair bit, or perhaps us just going away together for the weekend somewhere nice, or doing nothing even, but nothing really seemed to "fit".
I was driving to work one day when I realised the one thing I hadn't considered was the one thing I really wanted. All I wanted for our anniversary really, was to be with friends and family in my own backyard enjoying food and eachother. That was it. I told Brad about this idea with a little trepidation as my husband is, lets just say, less than a social person - in fact, generally he's a complete recluse! I didn't think the reaction would be favourable, so I prepared myself for a lot of huffing and puffing and "do I have to be there"'s and such. I told him, and held my breath......
Needless to say when he jumped at the idea I was slightly shocked! A good shocked, but shocked all the same - who was he and what had he done with my husband???? LOL So we began planning with gusto, and the first thing to organise was the BBQ since we kind of didnt own one and my suggestion of borrowing one was met with derision. "Why borrow one when we can just buy one" says my dear husband. I pointed out that our dream BBQ was no featherweight - it was, like 800 bucks! But husband insisted, so we went ahead and bought the sucker. It's huge, but boy it does a pork roast like nothing else!!!
So once we had the BBQ sorted, I enlisted the help of a beautiful friend (check out ROAR photography on facebook, she's amazing!) who did a photo shoot for us last weekend - the photos were incredible, and I'm so happy with them we're going to get one blown up into a nice frame to commemorate the occasion :)
So where am I going with this? Well today was the big day - I got up at 8am and was a mad thing food prepping all morning - I think I sat down briefly at about 11:45 and then it was on! :) So, not as many people as I would have liked came, and those who couldn't make it were very missed, but boy did we have a good time!! Even the rain held off despite some pretty ominous clouds passing over us. At one point I'd walked back into the house to grab something and I looked out the window and realised that what I had suggested to Brad months ago we had made happen and I felt so incredibly blessed. It's not often that you can honestly say you get exactly what you wanted, but on this occasion it totally happened for me. The food was great, Brad was "master of the grill" like I'd predicted, we laughed and had a few drinks and just enjoyed ourselves :) Pa told his stories over and over and showed off pictures of his invention (eye roll pleaaaasseee!) :) Said with love of course! Brad hung out with his work mates and talked computer games for hours, and I got to feed people which lets face it is one of my favouritest things in the world :) The best part was when Carrie said my cob loaf and pav were awesome!!! High praise!!!!!
I had planned things pretty strategically so there wasn't a whole lot of washing up or anything, so it didn't take us long to pack things up. Brad and Pa settled in to watch the footy, and I began to fall asleep on the couch so I got sent to bed, and before long Brad had come to bed along with the cat AND the dog and then Pa went to bed too! The whole household was out to it til about 7:30!!! We were exhausted, but it was such a happy exhausted!!! :)
So tomorrow it's back to reality. and on to life "post BBQ" - It has only just occurred to me just how much my thought life was taken up with the event but it was so worth it :) If wealth is measured in love, then I am the richest girl alive!!
.jpg)
