Well hello out there! Christmas is once again over for another year, it came upon me far too quickly and left in much the same way! Taking some time off prior to Christmas did help my brain somewhat catch up to what was happening, and Christmas eve I and my inlaws had a great time walking up "Santa Street" as it's often known (the one place in town where there's millions of lights!!) Gizmo had a great time walking with us too :)
We had a quiet Christmas, and now that the festivities are done we are once again on the cusp of a new start - fresh beginnings. As a child I always felt like something magical happened at 12:00 midnight on New Years Eve - like somehow we all would wake up changed. Of course I learnt that never happens, and New Years Day we all still find ourselves with the exact same issues we had New Years Eve, another year on, older but not necessarily wiser (with a few sore heads to boot no doubt!).
I've never really understood why people write themselves off New years eve - why start the year with a hangover!!!!!! My plans are rather different to that - I plan start the year with a trip to the gym, and a breakfast of bacon and eggs!!! :) :)
The last few days I've been a little agitated, a little restless, and I'm not entirely sure why. I've almost felt like i want to get the holidays over with and get back to normal life, because I struggle so much with free time where my head is free to roam right into my anxieties (yes I am aware how neurotic that sounds - wanting holidays to be over??? WTH????) Never the less, that is what's been happening for me! I've been working on the second volume of a scrapbook I started for my children - it has childhood photos, letters and mementos that I hope one day they'll enjoy. My motivation for doing the scrapbooks has always been to somewhat fill in the gaps left by family members that my children will likely never meet, such as my stepmother, my father, my paternal grandparents and my brother. Scrapbooking always brings up many things for me, good and bad, and lately I've been reflecting a lot upon my teen years. They were really hard, at times lonely, at times awesome (especially year 9&10 where I had a great group of friends and we had a LOAD of fun) and relatively successful (I got a scholarship to Boarding school and then another one to uni!). I've looked back at those years and realised just how skewed my
perspective was at the time - and while you can never go back, it's sometimes hard to realise just how wrong you were and not be able to go back and fix it. I realised that I was actually a beautiful, intelligent, normal teen - I wasn't morbidly overweight, I wasn't an idiot, I wasn't lazy or stupid or useless - and I wish I could go back and tell my teen self so! I wish I knew then what I know now - my rapid weight gain post high school may never have occurred if I had a proper perspective on myself!
Sparked by the memory of names of my old classmates I even did some
stalking on facebook - some of us have travelled a LONG way away - some
stayed right in Dalby, married farmers, have a few kids and live pretty
much the exact life that they did as children. The mere thought of
living such a life was, back then, to me repugnant - I would have HATED
to think that I'd end up in Dalby as a farmer's wife.....and my initial
reaction was, for a moment, disgust - but then I paused and wondered to
myself, what makes my life any more worthy than that? I mean really,
what's the difference? Dalby's not really a bad place to live, and its
possible that if I had enjoyed a different childhood altogether, a
happier one perhaps, then it's very likely I may have ended up doing the
same!
But, we can't go back can we? Even if I wanted to, I couldn't. And all the choices I have made have brought me here, to this beautiful place - how could I possibly imagine anything else?
And with that in mind, I turn my attention to 2016 in all its shining potential. Many people will be making the old New Years resolutions, and its strange to think that for the first time in a really long time, my weight is not even in my top five goals for 2016. After all, if you ask my dietician, I've really achieved an amazing amount of weight loss that doesn't necessitate a focus on weight loss this year. Of course I'd like to lose a little more - about 4 kgs or so - but who doesn't!!! So while that's something I'd like, it's not really up there on my list.
Instead I want to make a different list - a list of goals that have to do with different areas of my life - a more personal list, one that focuses on wellbeing instead of numbers on a scale. It's a mix of goals, actions I can take, activities I can do, things I want to purchase and reminders to myself of the strengths I already have that I can build upon. It's more of a mind map for the next 12 months rather than a list.....
So, here goes - Pam's blueprint for 2016!
Spirituality/Faith
- Daily devotions for at least 10 mins per day
- Find a home church!!!!
- Surround myself with christian people who will help me in my walk with God
- Breathe, breathe breathe
Mental Health
- Medication compliance always
- quiet time or meditation
- Regular exercise
- Buy creativity journal and fill out daily
- Use flex for fun activities (horse riding/art/scrapbooking/music etc)
- Plan holidays for regular periods throughout the year
Social Life
- Make 5 new friends (minimum) this year!
- Try and remember people's birthdays!!!
- Do an ARK at least once a month
- Connect regularly with friends for coffee, movies etc
- Never pass up an opportunity to have a cuppa with someone, even if its someone I dont know well
Physical Health
- Compliance with all medication
- Take Elevit every day
- Continue eating well and try to get over 1000 calories every day
- Listen to "full" signals
- Regular exercise - consistency always
- Never miss an opportunity to do something active
- Sleep at least 8 hours a day
- Water water water
- Always have fibre in my coffee and tea
- Regular dietician appointments
- Do what is right for me, listening to my body and to my needs
There are a few other things I'd like to do this year :)
- Go horse riding
- go on a cruise
- go to the chocolate and coffee festival in maitland, or to the celtic festival in Glen Innes
- Spend some time at the beach :)
- Plan a trip to Melbourne (?)
- Plant a veggie patch and watch it grow
- Visit Luiza and the twins in Sydney!
- Hopefully fall pregnant!!!
Who knows whether I'll be able to do all those things - but at least it gives me somewhere to start :) Like I say, these aren't resolutions so much - there's no pressure for me to tick them off. I just like having the reminder that no matter how restless I feel, there's always something I can work towards and look forward to :) This post has taken a few days to finish, because I wanted to give myself time to remember other things I want to achieve and this isn't by an means an exhaustive list, but I definitely wanted to at least put something out there :)
To all my family and friends, I wish you all a very safe, happy and prosperous 2016. I pray you are blessed with all good things, and that I can continue to share in your lives :) I love you all xxx
Until next time,
